The
Glencoe Marathon 2013: Holmback Strikes Back (A Sequel)
[Sun
6th Oct 2013]
Have you ever been to the cinema to
see a sequel to a film you really like? You go in full of expectation and aware
of reviews that promise the same experience of the first only better or in some
instances an experience equal to that of the first. More often than not you sit
for a couple of hours and ultimately you have a good time, after all you’ve
spent the best part of £20 and you’ve set aside time for this occasion so
there’s a lot riding on it. However when you leave the auditorium there’s
something missing the experience starts to pale and after a while you think
well it wasn’t as good as the first, wasn’t as fun or exciting or dramatic or
thrilling. There were no zingy one liners that you could instantly reel off. Or
any moments that really stood out as impressive or had the originality of the
first. The majority of peoples’ experiences are subjective and in some ways the
only way to judge a film’s success nay brilliance is based on bums on seats,
but it’s not always as straight forward as that. James Cameron’s Avatar is the
most commercially successful film of all time – even if they did increase
ticket prices for the privilege of going to see it. However it is neither
original nor unique or for that matter good – granted as a technical piece of
film making it’s impressive but it’s hollow and boring. It’s certainly not the
best film of all time – that currently according to the British Film Institute
is Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo (I have to agree with them there) though in my
humble opinion his most enjoyable film is North by Northwest. Getting back to
sequels though, one of my all-time favourite films is Die Hard. Die Hard 2: Die
Harder not so much. Ironman was a fantastically poignant, funny film with a
serious message about arms sales, terrorism and mortality. Ironman 2 was not.
The Matrix, Pirates of the Caribbean: the curse of the Black Pearl, Predator,
Beverley Hills Cop all have something in common pointless terrible sequels. So
how does this fit in with the Glencoe Marathon? Well the Glencoe Marathon 2013
was my sequel to last year’s first running only I was hoping that unlike The
Matrix Reloaded, Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man’s Chest, Predator 2 or
Beverley Hills Cop 2 it wasn’t going to stink!
2012 Review and
Recap
At last year’s event I completed the race in 4 Hours 56 minutes
and 16 seconds and was 39th out of 144 people who managed to conquer the course.
I was over an hour behind the winner and was if you can recollect rather over
dressed for the occasion – top hat and tails. The weather had been cool dry and
settled. I had learnt a lot from the experience and was determined not to make
the same mistakes as last year.
2013
In the lead up to this year’s race conditions weren’t the best.
The week before the race, the Highlands had experienced some heavy and
persistent downpours, several rivers broke banks and flooded fields whilst a
land slide in Glen Croe near Rest and be Thankful (it’s a place look it up)
closed the A83 for several hours and travellers incurred a 50 mile diversion –
something not uncommon in this part of the world. Fortunately for us travelling
up on the Thursday before the race we followed the rain up country and by the
time we arrived in Onich we could almost see the hills and mountains of the
Ardnamurchan peninsula. However there was a little twist in the tale on this
day for us. Having travelled the best part of 7 hours through some stunning
scenery and sampling some delicious apple and cinnamon scones in Kinross we
drove up the drive of our lochside hotel only to discover that it was totally
closed up with a note on the door to confirm it. Oh shine your buttons with
Brasso. Not a good start. However this turned out to be a rather fortunate turn
of events. We were able, and very gratefully so, to get accommodation with the
hotel next door, which was run by a charming Spanish gentleman who employed
some of the nicest staff from all over the world.
The night before the race it rained. It swelled the rivers and
dampened the ground. Saturated the bog and created streams down the mountains
which made them look like they were crying – Glencoe is known as the Weeping
Glen. Waterfalls appeared from nowhere or their confluence took on a new or
broadened route. I don’t mind the rain in fact I like it. Yes it’s nice to be
dry but who can resist splashing about in puddles? The actual day of the race
it didn’t rain and it was unusually mild. At the beginning of last year’s race
it was 3 degrees at the start this year it was 14. So as you can imagine I was
in shorts this time round and not as layered up as last time. I felt good at
the start but strangely more nervous than last year. My training, certainly in
recent weeks, hadn’t been as intense or anywhere near as comparative to last
year. I hadn’t done nearly enough off road or for that matter on road mileage.
At the cross country the previous Saturday I’d pretty much, by my standards,
ambled round in a sort of malaise. I felt that I had a good chance of beating
my time from the previous year but only by a small amount and only because I
was course savvy. One thing going for me this year was I wasn’t ill in the run
up. Last year I was battling a heavy cold in the week running up to the race
which didn’t help my preparations. This time I was clear of any colds or
illness. As we went through the usual race preparations of safety notices and
instructions I looked around at my competitors and realised that there weren’t
many faces I recognised from the previous year. In fact a quick check of the
entrant board showed that last year’s winner wasn’t competing – not that I
thought I had a chance of winning. However once we were ushered into the
starting pen everyone with the exception of myself seemed to be hanging back
almost fearful of the challenge – normally I’m used to a massive surge to the
front to get clear unhindered road but no-one seemed committed to take on the
challenge. So once the countdown finished, and at 9 am the hooter sounded and
we were piped out by a young lad (stop your sniggering) I found myself leading
the race out of the Red Squirrel campsite. I’m not going to bore you with many
details of the race this time like last year suffice to say that the route
remained unchanged and I didn’t last long in first place. I had a new watch and
it didn’t break. The boggy section at 5 miles was even more boggy and just as
sadomasochistically (in a non-sexualised way) fun as last year. When I reached
the high point of the race at about 10 miles I decided to not attack the long
forthcoming downhill section as I had done the previous year. Instead I used a
more measured approach and as a result went from sixth to 4th place by the
halfway point in Kinlochleven. After briefly stopping to change water bottles
and collect more gels and a Rice Crispy Squares treat from my parents I set off
for the second half of the race.
The second half is arguably harder than the first. It sounds
silly almost improbable when you consider the first half has the highest and
longest climb from sea level to 500 metres and the trickier longer descent back
to sea level. But the climb in the first half is over 8 miles and only steepens
in the last mile of the climb in the second half you gain 300 metres in
elevation within 2 miles meaning it’s a lot steeper and it’s not until the 17th
mile that the topography starts to flatten in places. Unlike the first half
which is more or less straight up then straight down the second half undulates all
the way to 24½ miles – where the course plummets to the finish.
In any good story there’s a villain. A nefarious character who
causes torment to the protagonist, makes them question their desire, actions
and tries to sap all the confidence they may have. Hans Gruber is the
archetypical villain in both literary and cinematic form. The villain of this
piece however is the cramp I suffered firstly in my left calf and then almost
instantly in my right calf at about 14 miles. At this point I had a moment of doubt
and I had a quick choice to make, turn back and try to flag down my parents
before they left Kinlochleven to go the finish and essentially quit or grin and
bear it for the next 12 and a bit miles. Like any good mountain or fell runner
I chose the latter mainly because it had taken best part of 20 minutes to get
where I was from where I had last seen them so by the time I’d got back down
the mountain side and then phoned my parents I would’ve had to wait around
looking a little out of place whilst they returned – plus I wasn’t going to let
a little bit of cramp ruin my day. More importantly there was a cheeseboard to
look forward to.
Last year I mentioned about cheeseboards and chicken noodle soup
and I was hoping to see them again at the 17 mile feed station. However I was a
little disappointed that there was none there this year instead we had salted
peanuts and party rings which are as you know the energy food of choice for the
keen mountain marathon runner. I was most grateful for the salted peanuts because
they were going to be the best thing for my cramp, and the pink party ring was
a bonus and got me thinking there’s not enough pink foods. I let the volunteers
at the feed station ponder this as I left them to forge on once more.
By this point I was in 9th place and coping ok with the cramp in
my calves – it was mainly affecting me when I was going uphill so all I had to
keep doing was walk on the uphill and then run as best as I could on the
downhill and past the video cameras. When I got to the 21 mile checkpoint it
was like I’d found the Holy Grail – CHEESEBOARD!!!!!!! And despite being 9th in
the marathon and having been passed by (shamefully, for them that is) only 5
half marathon runners – the half marathon set off from Kinlochleven at 11 am about
10 minutes after I’d been through so arguably using the laws of entropy more
should’ve passed me before now – no one had touched the cheese (tut tut). Well
the time had come for a little cheddar and I believe I chose a nice Seriously
Strong variety which was promptly positioned on a nice cracker. It’s an
interesting combination High 5 Energy drink, cheese and crackers try it though
it’s actually quite good.
Anyway it was at this checkpoint that the first lady ran past as
I was dining and shooting the breeze with the volunteers, she looked very
determined and comfortable – there was no way I’d catch her. However I decided
that that was maybe the time to push on. I looked at my watch and realised
there was probably only another hour of running left so I bid au revoir and
started the last section.
At about 23 miles on an uphill section a lad called Jonathan
caught me up. We had a little chat about the course etc… and I told him what to
expect in the next 3 miles. He was having trouble running downhill with cramp
in his hamstrings and after he left me and pushed on ahead I noticed him
stopping periodically to stretch them out. It wasn’t long before I caught him
back up through a wooded section which is predominantly downhill. I pointed out
the last climb of the day as it approached. It’s only about 200 - 300 metres in
length but it’s steep enough to cause a few issues. As soon as we got to the
bottom of it I was resigned to walking Jonathan on the other hand had no
problem scaling it and was quickly out of sight. However there was one thing I
was certain of at the top of this hill there was no more climbing it was 1½
miles of steep and then shallower descent. By the time I reached the top he had
a 15 to 20 second lead on me at the finish I had beaten him by 2 minutes. I
crossed the line in 10th place out of 103 marathon runners in a time of 4 hours
16 minutes and 2 seconds – 40 minutes quicker than last year! When I was going
up the Devils Staircase a chap with a video camera (it’s going to be shown on
BBC 2 Scotland’s The Adventure Show by the way) asked me where I was from and
if I’d done it before, when he asked my reason for coming back to do it again
I’d answered I loved it!
Epilogue
So at the finish as the smile beamed from my face and the Air
Cadets tried in vain to complete YMCA in between each finishing competitor I
reflected on what was a pretty good run if I’m allowed to say so myself. Early
on when people were cheering me on, including my Mum and Dad, I kept saying
“it’ll not last but I’m enjoying it at the moment”, I never thought I’d knock
40 minutes off my previous time and finish 10th.
In cinema, with the exception of any Adam Sandler, Danny Dyer or
Jason Statham vehicle (where generally they’re all equally puerile), there
aren’t many sequels that are equal to or better than the original I can only
think of a handful (The Bourne Supremacy, Before Sunset, The Empire Strikes
Back, The Dark Knight and The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers) however they
do occasionally happen. So this sequel The Glencoe Marathon 2013: Holmback
Strikes Back was definitely a hit – for me anyway.
Big thanks to everyone who supported me again also I have a Just
Giving page should anyone wish to sponsor me.
www.justgiving.com/Peter-Holmback1
There aren’t many films that are third in a trilogy or series
that are equal to or better than either the original or its sequel. I can only
think of 1. So next year, 2014, my intention is to knock another 30 – 40
minutes off my time again and I’m going to win it! So prepare yourselves for my
interpretation of, that’s right you’ve guessed it, From Russia with Love.
Thanks for reading
Peter
Bongo time
